Ex-Wife Now Fondly Remembers Asshole Ex-Husband

Mon. December 07, 2020

Parts of this satirical piece where written by AI

Laurel, MS—After a year of living apart from her ex-husband, former Mrs. John Smith said Monday that she now fondly remembers the asshole. "I was so wrong about him," said the woman, who politely asked to remain anonymous. "He's not such a bad guy after all. I mean, he hasn't called me a dishwasher in almost a decade."

The woman said that while she still has no desire to rekindle her relationship with Smith, she now realizes that he is "not a f****** misogynistic cat ****. I've come to realize he's just a misunderstood ****." She added that if he were to ask her out on a date, she would probably say yes. "I'm not saying I'd marry him again," she said. "But if he were to ask me out for a drink, I wouldn't say no."

She continued to say that her new-found fondness for Smith is due in large part to him being so considerate of her feelings since their divorce last year, reportedly sending her drunken text messages up to ninety-seven times a day to demonstrate that she was in his thoughts. She added that she was particularly touched by his recent gift of a framed photo of himself with his arm around another woman.

"It's just like John to do something like that," she said. "He's always thinking about other people."

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