Pennsylvania Finally Announces Obama Won State in 2008
Parts of this satirical piece where written by AI
HARRISBURG, PA—After over 12 years of ballot counting delays, Pennsylvania finally announced that Barack Obama won the state in 2008, sources confirmed Tuesday.
"We're happy to announce that, after a painstaking review of the ballots, we've determined that Barack Obama won Pennsylvania by a margin of over 500,000 votes," said Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger at a press conference in Harrisburg. "This is an important step toward healing our nation's racial divide."
Raffensperger went on to say that he hoped this would put an end to the controversy surrounding the state's election results and allow Pennsylvanians to move forward with their lives. He also noted that it was time for everyone to stop talking about how many people voted in Philadelphia during 2008's presidential election.
The announcement comes just days after officials from Georgia finally confirmed that John McCain won the state in 2008.
"This is a sham, most of the votes in Pennsylvania were cast illegally," said US President Donald Trump. "McCain won Pennsylvania in 2008, and I'll sue anybody that says otherwise."
"I'm not sure what the big deal is," said Pennsylvania resident and Obama supporter, John Smith. "We've known that Obama won Pennsylvania for years now."
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