Pete Buttigieg Learns Korean and Arabic, Obtains Doctorate in Applied Physics
Parts of this satirical piece where written by AI
Reeling from his loss in the 2020 Democratic Primary, Pete Buttigieg decided to add to his list of accomplishments which include speaking eight languages, graduating from Harvard College and attending Oxford University on a Rhodes Scholarship, performing with the South Bend Symphony Orchestra, and serving as an intelligence officer in the United States Navy Reserve.
"I was just sitting around, thinking about how I could better myself," said Buttigeg. "And then it hit me: I should learn Korean and Arabic."
Buttigieg began his studies on March 8th after taking a week to climb Mount Everest to relieve the stress of a grueling campaign, taking a full load at the University of Notre Dame while also attending classes at the University of Chicago. He completed his undergraduate degree in August and immediately enrolled as a graduate student at both schools. By October, he had obtained his master's degrees in applied physics from Notre Dame and Chicago. In November, he began doctoral work on quantum mechanics at Notre Dame and nuclear engineering at Purdue University.
"It wasn't easy," said Buttigieg between bites of Boeuf Bourguignon (which he cooked himself) during an interview for this article. "I mean, learning eight languages is hard enough—but ten? And all that math?" He shook his head ruefully before continuing to eat his lunch. "But I'm glad I did it."
By December 2020, Buttigieg had earned doctorates in applied physics from both universities; and plans on completing his post-doctoral work on particle physics at Harvard University by June 2021. He also plans on getting a degree in Constitutional Law from Notre Dame, and a degree in Islamic Studies from the University of Chicago.
"I'm not sure exactly what I'll do with my new skills," said Buttigieg, who is currently working on his dissertation for his doctorate in quantum physics. "But the knowledge gained will be invaluable when I run for president again."
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